It’s the name of the new book by Leslea Newman—”October Mourning—A Song for Matthew Shepard.” Fourteen years ago, Matthew Shepard, a twenty-one-year old gay University of Wyoming student was beaten, tied to a fence, and left to die. Five days later Leslea Newman was the keynote speaker at the beginning of Gay Awareness Week at the university. She is an author of over sixty books for all ages, including the children’s classic, “Heather Has Two Mommies.” She has stayed in touch with the Matthew Shepard foundation and over a week ago I was privileged to hear her speak—and more than that, to meet with her and get a sense of her commitment to Erase Hate (which is what she wrote in the book I bought). Her presentation was titled “He Continues To Make a Difference: the Story of Matthew Shepard.”

There are subjects that I haven’t gotten into yet in these postings because they seem so huge and so intense—war and peace, the prison system itself, capital punishment, gay rights…. However, on the subject of gay rights, it’s much more than that. It’s recognizing the worth, the sacred worth, of each and every individual.

Years ago Paul Abels started me on this particular journey. He was the pastor at the Washington Square United Methodist Church in New York City in the Village—and he was my friend. He taught me that love is what matters and as I stood in his Greenwich Village apartment/parsonage at his union service with his partner Thom Hunt, I understood that it was love—the love that he respected in men and women, in men and men, in women and women—because it was love, and love is of God.

I have been embarrassed many times by the homophobic actions of the United Methodist Church but I continue to stay in the church, partly because of Paul. After his early retirement, and before his death in March of 1992, I asked him why he didn’t leave the church, and he answered, “Ann, the United Methodist Church may leave me, but I will not leave the United Methodist Church.” That is still true of many LGBT persons who continue to struggle within the church for recognition, for respect, for full inclusion—and while they stay, I can and will stay.

Matthew Shepard—Leslea Newman—Paul Abels—the United Methodist Church—they all end up being tied together as the struggle continues. And as surely as the moon travels across the sky, love and inclusion will win – every time.

I encourage you to get the book, “October Mourning—A Song for Matthew Shepard” by Leslea Newman. She has written poems which take you through the entire event. She writes them from the perspective of various objects—the fence he was tied to, the stars, the truck; and then from the perspective of various people—his mother, the officer of the court, the journalist; and in the end she writes a poem combining a Native American prayer, with lines from a psalm, from a Buddhist prayer, from the Jewish prayer of mourning, from the gospel of Matthew. And she weaves it all using various poetry forms and modeling after specific poems. In terms of erasing hate, the book itself is a good investment in love.

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I spent the week thinking of her, praying for her and the entire process, helping to arrange a vigil of two hours each day of Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (the days of the trial) at Sparta United Methodist Church. I was there the first two days and the third day a severe storm kept me home.

Each day we lit the seven candles—one for each color of the rainbow. We listened on Tuesday as one person read the sermon that Amy herself had preached the night before. On Wednesday we talked about Amy in connection with the sermon Richard Deats had delivered the Sunday before at Sparta—of how seeds of love eventually can grow into new realities.

I found out the result of the trial—not guilty of the first charge of being a self-avowed practicing homosexual; and guilty of the second charge of having performed a union service for two women. And then I waited for the consequences of the guilty verdict.

She was given a suspension of ministerial duties for 20 days starting July 1st for discernment leading to a process of meeting with her bishop, her district superintendent, the chair of her Board of Ordained Ministry, and a Wisconsin elder (pastor) of her choice—all of these leading to a document that would outline procedures for clergy in order to help resolve issues that harm the clergy covenant, create an adversarial spirit, or lead to future clergy trials. This paper would be completed in time to be presented and acted upon by that Wisconsin Annual Conference at the 2012 clergy session.

It was refreshing to hear on Saturday from Amy’s support team—and that they saw this action of the jury as “an exemplary exoneration of her.” They wrote that the jury wants her “to teach the conference what it has not yet learned (or forgotten): how we pull together to leave this world a better place.”

This trial it seems to me was unlike any that the Church has held so far on this subject. The shift is slow and at the same time it is happening. Somehow it has all fit together for me—from last Sunday’s sermon by Richard (which you can find here); through the week of sitting vigil and talking together; clear through to a jury giving her not a penalty but an opportunity to once again teach with her words and her life about loving each other.

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—

Walls

or

No Walls

(Dedicated to Beth Stroud)

—

the rules are there

to separate

who’s in

who’s out

and as the law

gains strength

it builds the wall

—

it is not new

these walls

the church creates

—

in other times

the law divided

blacks and whites

or stopped the women

from the service

that ordained

all justified

by Scripture quotes

and moral arguments

—

and yet the Spirit moves

a mighty church

to shout apologies

long after racist walls

came tumblin’ down

leaving the rocks

and boulders to still be

sifted through

—

the Spirit whispered

strength to women

and with the strength

the women kept on

keeping on

till finally they

kneel at last

with bishops’ hands

upon their heads

ordaining to new ministries

and feminist feet

kicked bits of stone

from fallen walls

—

and now within

the very church that

claims such open doors

the law is clear again

if gay or lesbian

you may not

be ordained

or if ordained

you may be stripped

and stone is placed

on stone as walls

and church

disrupt the lives

once more

—

but Spirit wind

is blowing now

feeling the heart break

that spills far beyond

one soul

so stripped

the Spirit carries the

echo of the song

that holds the gentleness

and the anger together

—

the Spirit breathes

and with each breath

shares witness

that walls hold weakness

within themselves

and this wall too

has cracks sprung

loose and spreading fast

—

for numbers grow

of those who join

their hands and hearts

to say with new resolve

“We will keep loving—

we will keep living—

we will make room

until the walls are

pebbles underfoot.”

—

© Copyright 2004 Ann Freeman Price

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