163. The Witness

Robert Coles, a writer I admire a great deal, wrote a book called “The Moral Intelligence of Children—How to Raise a Moral Child.” In that book he writes: “The child is a witness, the child is an ever-attentive witness of grown-up morality—or lack thereof.”

I think it’s an important thing for me to remember—that many times there may be a child watching. And that child watches what I do, what I don’t do, how I speak, what I say, when I speak up, when I am silent.

Now I’m not talking about perfection. I’m talking (or writing) about being real and at the same time operating with a moral sense. I always wanted my children to know that I would try to do the right thing, but I also wanted them to know when I had to struggle to do the right thing—because I was human (and still am).

And it doesn’t have to only be a child—it can be a young person—a 25-year-old who may seem to not be paying any attention at all, but I believe is often checking out the adults to see where the inconsistencies are and where the strengths are.

So live it true. Live it honest. Live it real. Because someone is watching.

162. Positive

When I was a little girl, there was a whole series of books about Pollyanna. She was extremely positive. I think my mother pushed the idea of Pollyanna partly because that’s how she wanted me to be: positive. But I was learning to read book after book and was eager to keep adding to my collection so I read and read and read about Pollyanna.

Mother herself was a devoted fan of Norman Vincent Peale, and just as I had a shelf of Pollyanna books, Mother had several shelves of NVP. And I think she truly tried to look on the positive side of things.

Then I went through a period in my life where I scoffed at both. I believed it was fake and that I should be honest about my feelings. I was not going to pretend to be happy when I wasn’t. And I wasn’t going to follow the 24 steps to a happier life ala NVP.

But time passed. And what do they say? What goes around comes around—or something like that. And I will now take a little of both. Perhaps that means I’m coming around to a place of balance (just as I wrote yesterday).

I see the advantages of being positive (in an honest way). I believe it’s better for my health to be hopeful—to see the glass half full—to know that Jesus came to bring light—to spread the Good News.

Both “Yes” Magazine and the United Methodist Women’s magazine “Response” are good examples of magazines which acknowledge the struggles that are going on in the world and the number of people that are working hard to correct injustice; to make peace; to have creative ideas for all kinds of situations.

I vote for that.

161. Balance

Balance is important to me. I think that I am the happiest, the most productive, the most fulfilled when I am in balance. It has to do with the food I eat. It has to do with the projects I work on. If I set up for myself multiple projects for which I have little interest and no energy but think I should get done, then I end up totally unbalanced and basically unhappy. If I take some of those projects that I think I should do and mix them in with a project or two for which I have interest and enthusiasm, then the whole batch can often get done.

Back when I was juggling more, I could tell in just a few tries how balanced I was because if my balance was off, I dropped balls all over the place. But if I got myself centered, feet solidly on the ground, a feeling of looseness throughout my body, I could keep the balls going for quite a while.

I have always smiled at Eeyore—for he’s a loveable but grumbly, negative kind of friend. “Oh my—I don’t know—I just think it’s probably not going to turn out very well, but that’s the way my life goes, you know.”

I do not want to be an Eeyore.

I once heard about a key concept in Hasidic thought. It expresses the idea of balance: Keep two pieces of paper in your pockets at all times. On one write. “I am a speck of dust.” On the other, “The world was created for me.”

I think that says something about balance.

160. The Trust Is Hard

It feels to me like there are so many things that need fixing—so many systems in this country and in this world that need change. There’s the prison system. There’s the educational system. There’s the church. There’s the economy and the tremendous gap between the very wealthy and the rest of us. There’s war and peace. There’s nuclear power…..And I’m sure that each of us could add ten or twenty more—the environment. healthcare, human trafficking, and on and on.

One of the frustrating things is that I can get excited about any number of these and race from issue to issue, trying to do something. A number of years ago Church and Society folks from the Northeast Jurisdiction of the United Methodist Church got together in Pennsylvania for a conference. Many of these issues came up and it almost became overwhelming.

One of our speakers for that conference was the Rev. James Lawson, a trainer in non-violence in the 60’s in Nashville and continuing today. I don’t remember that whole speech. But I have always remembered that he too talked about the number of things that need fixing and he said, “You can’t do it all. Pick one or two and work on them with all the passion that you have and trust that someone else is picking up the others.”

I continue to work on that. I continue to try to focus on one or two issues. And I have trouble trusting that someone else is picking the other issues. I keep dipping back into them and thinking that I need to work on them too. And I quickly get over-extended. So Rev. Lawson is right—I can’t do it all.

So I’ll work on the trust.

159. Let Me Be Mad

I’ve learned that there are times when I need to be angry. And there are times when other people need to be angry too.

When I worked in the nursing home as a music therapist, there was a man whose father had been there about a week. I saw him leaving his father’s room and shaking his head, and I asked if I could help with anything. He said, “Well, Dad is just so angry–I didn’t expect it. I came today with this idea that we’d buy a lottery ticket every week and then watch the TV when they announced the numbers, and I thought it would be just a fun, crazy thing to do together. Well, I just told him the idea and he almost shouted at me that no, he didn’t want to do that, that was just dumb. And shouting at me—well it’s really just not like him.”

I said, “You know your Dad hasn’t been here very long, and this part of his journey is maybe not what he had in mind. And he’s a little angry. And now he’s got people helping to care for him and he doesn’t want to vent his anger at them, because he needs them. But he can vent his anger at you, because you’re safe—and you’ll still love him.” The son was quiet for a minute and then said, “You know I never thought of it that way. O.K. we’ll just see how this all goes and if he needs to be mad at me, that’s alright too.”

So as his Dad settled into life at the nursing home, the Dad was able to shift out of the anger, and they even did a weekly lottery together.

When my oldest daughter was seven or eight, one of her chores was to take the garbage out. One day I reminded her and she said “O.K. I’ll do it,” but then didn’t. So a little later I reminded again, and she stomped off to get the garbage. She made a huge ruckus dragging it out, lots of noise and fussing on her part. And I said, “Hey can you change how you’re doing that so it’s not so angry?” And she shouted back, “I’m DOING IT, but I don’t have to be happy about it. Just LET ME BE MAD !

And occasionally that’s what I say—Just Let Me Be Mad !

158. Thanksgiving Salute to Meister Eckhart

Meister Eckhart was a German theologian, philosopher, and mystic. He joined the Dominican order in 1277. ISince I became aware of him, I have found quote after quote of his that I love. And here’s one appropriate for the Thanksgiving season which might rightly be any season: “If the only prayer you say in your whole life is thank you, that would suffice.”

157. Learning to Say True Thanks

Thanksgiving comes around each year and whoever is going to gather, gathers. We figure out how to say what we’re thankful for. I always avoid the vegetable because there’s so much else that is so good—why eat green beans? And then it’s over so quickly.

A couple of years ago I wrote:

—

luckily

we don’t get what we

deserve or

what we earn

we get a thousand fold more

and we say “thank you”

—

© Copyright 2010 by Ann Freeman Price

—–

I don’t know if I have ever described this but very recently I was reminded that the American Sign Language sign for Thank You is to tuck your thumb in the palm of your hand and put your four fingers up to your lips and then move your arm down until your hand is in front of you. And that says “Thank You.”

I’ve been using it more—when I see something amazing, when I want to say a silent thanks, when I’m out in public, just various situations where suddenly you can say “Thank you” with your arm and your hand. Try it out.

And so today on this Thanksgiving either silently or right out loud, I do say “Thank You.”

156. Grace for Thanksgiving

Whether we sit down tomorrow to a table surrounded by family and laden down with food; or whether we gather at the church and all eat together; or even if sit with a small group; or if by chance we sit down at Thanksgiving alone—we can still sing a grace.

Try this one—it’s to the tune of the Quaker song ‘Tis the Gift to Be Simple. If you don’t know the tune, then read the words. Make copies if you want so that everyone can sing together.

—

‘Tis the day of Thanksgiving and we all gather round,

To name our blessings with a grateful sound,

The table is prepared—what a wondrous sight,

So many helped that the work was light.

Food’s not the most important thing,

We must not forget why we really sing:

We sing our thanks to God these days

For loving family and loving ways.

—

© Copyright 2012 by Ann Freeman Price

In the book: 50 Graces to Sing—to tunes you know by Ann Freeman Price.

155. Goals and Visions

In the past seven or eight years I’ve been working with goals and visioning. It began as my daughter started her own coaching and consulting business. I agreed to be one of her first clients in a program called “Best Year Yet.” I worked with her for several years and then did it on my own for several years. Now she and I are back to working together again.

I’ve learned a number of things from visioning and goal-setting:

1. It helps me to set goals. I have found even when I was doing it by myself that as I approached the monthly deadline, I hustled to get some things done that I had said I would do.

2. I absolutely love the starting again on a new month, and get excited about new possibilities.

3. Failing to meet a goal doesn’t mean that I’ve failed. It means that perhaps the goal needs to be shifted. Or it means that I am stuck about something in that goal and need to look a little deeper about what that could be.

4. My goals and visions are not set in stone and therefore unchangeable. I can re-write the vision and add to it at any time.

5. I am already anticipating the new year. I give myself until January 10th to have my goals for the year in place. They end up being like resolutions, but they somehow are also different because I work them. I don’t just give up on them.

6. When I was working with Donna (whose business is www.CompassRoseConsulting.com), I would come up with a mantra for the year. One year the mantra was: Hold the vision and move it!

And every year I do.

154. How Many Times

Today I led devotions for a District UMW Planning Team and because Thanksgiving Day is approaching, I pulled out a piece of music I wrote in 1981. As we sang it, I was reminded that I still need to hear it—probably every day. It’s based on the scripture of the ten lepers that Jesus healed and only one turned around to say thank you. I, too, forget.

—

Thank You

—

How many times do I not even see the gifts I have been given,

How many times do I see the gifts and wonder why I didn’t get more,

How many days do I drag my feet and list the things gone wrong,

Well I’m ready now, I’m ready now to say:

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna lift my arms, shout for joy,

Clap my hands, Say it some more,

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God.”

—

How may times do I not even see the healing God has given,

How many times do I stop to count the wonders God has given each day,

How many days and in how many ways has God reached out and touched,

Well I’m ready now, I’m ready now to say:

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna lift my arms, shout for joy,

Clap my hands, Say it some more,

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God.”

—

How many days do I fuss and fume that all my time has vanished?

How many days have I just complained:

“I should have gotten lots more things done!”

All of my time is a one-time gift, and mine to relish true,

Well I’m ready now, I’m ready now to say:

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna turn around where I am and say “Thank You.”

I’m gonna lift my arms, shout for joy,

Clap my hands, Say it some more,

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God.”

—

© Copyright 1981 by Ann Freeman Price