63. Winning and Whining Quote

One of my top ten quotes is this one: The difference between a “winner” and a “whiner” is the sound of the “I.” That is an A.A. axiom from the book The Spirituality of Imperfection—Storytelling and the Search for Meaning by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham.

It reminds me of my July 20 post about sniveling and Eeyore. They’re all in the same kind of box, which I do my best to stay out of. But in that moment where I find myself whining, I think of this quote, and pull myself together (sort of).

62. Swimming Lessons in Nyack and the Shift

There was a time in my life when all four of my children were signed up for swimming lessons at the YMCA in Nyack, NY. We lived in Pomona which was about thirty minutes away. The children ages were roughly 4, 7, 8, and 10 and of course they were not all in the same class. One year it ended up that I drove to Nyack four days a week.

There were times when I did not do it happily—usually about the fourth day. And it was in this period of time that I learned to shift. I can clearly remember one afternoon driving along the Palisades Parkway and grumbling to myself and perhaps fussing a little to the kids, when suddenly I thought: “You know, you are not going to cancel anyone’s lessons. So you can either do this grumpily or you can shift and make it fun.” And that particular afternoon I shifted.

And many afternoons after that, if I started the grumble, I shifted. It was fun. And it was a good skill to learn.

61. I Lift My Eyes

I love Psalm 121 and particularly love those closing verses: The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore. Isn’t that a promise and a half?

When I’m having a frustrating day or week, I try to remember to sing this version that I wrote of Psalm 121. It fits the tune of the hymn “Alas and Did My Savior Bleed.” I sing it slowly and relish it, and what I’ve learned is that after I finish singing it, I’m breathing differently and generally feeling less frustrated. The psalm helps put my life in order again.

Psalm 121 – I lift up my eyes to the hills—from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

I lift my eyes, lift them to the hills,

From where will my help come?

My help does come, help comes each day

From God, who made heav’n and earth.

—

God will not let your foot be moved;

God keeps you and will not sleep,

The very God who keeps Israel

Will neither sleep or slumber still.

—

Your keeper is the Lord your God,

God is your right hand shade.

The sun will not strike you by day,

And moon will not strike you by night.

—

Your God will keep you from evil still,

God will keep your life, and then

The Lord will keep your going out

And coming in forevermore.

—

Words © Copyright 2002 by Ann Freeman Price

Tune: Alas and Did My Savior Bleed, No. 294, United Methodist Hymnal

60. St Francis quote

St. Francis of Assisi said: Preach the gospel always. If necessary, use words.

Isn’t that an amazing quote? I collect quotes and that is in the top ten. Throughout this year of what I’ve learned in my seventy-nine years, you will meet the other nine quotes.

Many times as I have gone through my years of preaching, I have recognized that a lot of what I say is what I want to say to myself. I want to preach it and I also want to figure out how to live it, so that I don’t have to preach it (even to myself).

59. Simple

At one point in my life, my interest in living a simple life was such that I had thirteen books on the subject. That’s not simple. Since then I have given the books away and look for some of the ways I can simplify. I have never needed or wanted to have many clothes. I eat fairly simply.

My biggest temptation is books and I find it difficult to not order one more and one more and one more. I now check the library and the extended library system first and if I can I get it there. That way I can see if I really need it in my collection of books. But occasionally (like this morning) even that was too hard a wait and so I ordered two books from used book sellers.

But back to simplicity.

Twelve years ago I wrote a Lune on Simple. A Lune is a poetry form of three lines, five syllables in the first line, three syllables in the second, and five syllables in the third. The word Lune is French for “moon” and the poem itself ends up having a crescent moon shape. There are also 13 lunar months per year.

—

A Lune on Simple

—

how can I pare life

down to where

I feel its essence

—

© Copyright 2000 by Ann Freeman Price

—

I still believe this poem, in that I believe that that’s what the search for simplicity is about—it’s about feeling the essence of life.

58. – Medical Authority Too

Yesterday I wrote about being my own authority. This is true of medical information too. Whenever I go to a new doctor, I say to that person, “I want us to start out understanding each other. I come to you for information. I also want your recommendation when there is something to decide. But the bottom line is that I am the person who makes the decision.”

I do believe that the medical doctor has had years of training, and I haven’t had that. But still, it is my body and I have lived with it now for 79 years and that counts for a great deal.

When I had breast cancer, I believe I got scared by the word cancer and I pretty much went along with what they said was best to do. But there was a point in the middle of chemotherapy that they had told me we were switching drugs and it would be an easier drug. It wasn’t. And when I went in for the next treatment, I said, “Now I’m in charge. Do the blood work. Explain to me again why I would want another round of chemo. Give me the statistics. Tell me what you recommend. But from now on, I will decide whether I keep going.

That was a turning point for me—in the treatment and in I believe in the cancer, because I put myself back in charge. That was nine years ago.

Two years ago the knee surgeon heartily recommended double knee replacement. I investigated alternatives and have worked hard to not need that surgery.

I can be my own medical authority.

57. I Am My Own Authority

It took me years to get to the place where I could claim to be my own authority.

I was taught that others had more schooling, had more experience, had more of something or everything, so that I should believe what they say. Whether it was teachers, or parent, or preachers, or doctors—I definitely should not think that I was the authority.

But I am.

It’s true in the areas of religion, or government; it’s true of justice issues. I listen carefully. I read voraciously. I mull things over and think things through. And I come up with what rings true for me in my life at this time.

Sometimes I change my mind. Sometimes I tweak and adjust a belief, but ultimately I am my own authority.

56. As Mom Ages, There’s a Shift

An interesting phenomenon has been happening in my family over the last seven or eight years, just around the time I turned seventy. There are two parts to it.

The first part is location—where are you, Mom. Early in this period of time, I was out at a meeting and came home about 10:30pm to hear the phone ringing in my condo. I answered it and it was my son saying, “Where have you been?” I thought about saying “Out” but instead said, “I was at a meeting.” He said, “This late?”

I now live with one of my daughters in an attached apartment to the house but even here, if I don’t answer the phone, then the other kids call her with the question, “Where’s Mom?”

The second part is responsibility. In my apartment my daughter Donna came in and found me on a step stool, adjusting a curtain or something and said, “What are you doing? Let me do it. If you fell and broke something David would never let me hear the end of it.”

A year ago in a trip to Missouri for a family reunion I found the other side of that in that I was riding back and forth to the reunion site with David. He had rented a hatch-back large enough for him and his family, but when I joined them one of the teenage and older kids had to sit in the back. Each day, I would say, “Let me sit in the back.” He would always refuse but the last day I was heading to the car and Kurt had the keys and I said, “Quick open the car and I’ll get in the back.” I did that and watched with glee as David walked toward the car and saw me. My glee disappeared as I saw him shaking his head in the negative. I moved (rather than be removed bodily from the back) and as we drove off with me in the front seat and David driving, I said, “You know I can ride in the back. I fit.” He said, “Mom, if we had an accident and you got hurt, I’d never hear the end of it from Donna.” So far this responsibility thing has spread to Dara too. The only one I haven’t heard it from is Debra.

The shift part is that when they were young, I did both things—I wanted to know where they were, and I wanted to protect them from danger. And now that has shifted to them wanting to know where I am, and wanting to protect me from danger.

What I’ve learned is that the kids love me and are concerned about me, and what I’m trying to teach them is that I’m old and at the same time take care of myself, stay active, and that they are not after all responsible.

55. Babies in the River

One of the best stories I have ever come across to distinguish between charity and justice work (or mercy and justice work) is the following.

When I first met her, Carol Windrum was Peace with Justice Coordinator from Nebraska, employed full-time by the United Methodist Nebraska Conference. She led a workshop for us in Northern New Jersey and started out by saying—

We’re standing on a river bank. It’s a cool day. The river is flowing, not too swiftly but fast enough. Oh look—there’s a baby floating in the river. What should we do?”

She asks the groups again, “Quick, what should we do?” Someone from the group says, “Get the baby out!” And quickly Carol says, “Oh look, now there are two babies coming down the river—they’re in the water. What shall we do?” And by now, the group more quickly says, “Get them out, wrap them in blankets.”

“Look—” Carol shouts, “There are three babies—three babies floating down in the river. Three babies—what shall we do?” And the group says, “Get them out, get them blankets, find them food, hold them, comfort them.”

Carol says that she does this story over and over in her workshops. She continues with more and more babies each time floating down the river. She says that sometimes she gets to eleven or twelve babies, and finally in addition to get them out of the river, getting them food, finding them clothes, holding and loving them, someone from the group will make a new addition and say, “Send somebody upstream. Find out what system is putting the babies in the river.”

Carol explains to the group that getting the babies out, feeding them, clothing them, finding them shelter, helping them find love—all that is mercy work.

The justice work is going to the source and finding out what system, what force is putting the babies in the river and then working to change the system.

54. Praying on the Go

I have a Blue Jar System of Prayer that is especially effective on days I’m going to be at home and at the same time have a lot of things I am trying to get done. Many times I find I’m just not fitting prayer into my day. The top of my bedroom dresser is already a little like an altar. I have two candles and a peace bank for UNICEF giving. There is my Fontanini Joseph, Mary, manger and Baby Jesus set surrounded by the prayer beads created for me by Kem Monk. So I added a blue cut-glass jar (without its top) that had been my mother’s, plus one of my small bowls which I get each year at Daniel and Lissa’s art shows. Then I cut 3×5 cards into four pieces and on each piece put a prayer request and put it in the blue jar.

As I go through the day I pull a little card from the blue jar, say a prayer for that person, and place it in the small bowl. At some point I will light the candles. But through the day the cards slowly transfer, the prayers have been said, and the praying has lasted for the entire day.