On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

13. I learn from juggling

in 1979 I went to the national Clown, Mime, Puppet and Dance Conference and learned to juggle—in a simple way. I learned to keep three balls in the air. When I came back from the conference I carried my juggling balls with me and at the nursing home where I worked, I would whip them out whenever I had some free time and juggle for the residents. I was a beginning juggler, and they would shout their encouragement. I would count out loud the times the balls stayed in the air—1—2—3—4—and then I would drop one.

They would yell “Try to get it to 5 and I would start again. Eventually I got to 30 or 40 with them counting as a group. It was a wonderful combined activity for all of us.

During this time when I was practicing a lot, I wrote down some of the lessons I learned and decided they could be applied to my life too:

1. It looks easier than it is.

2. You have to start with a balanced stand—feet not too far apart—be balanced.

3. You start at the beginning with one ball, because that’s the beginning. It’s boring but it’s where you start. When you get that, you move to two balls. And eventually to three balls. If you move from one to two, or from two to three too quickly, you may have to go back and solidify the former.

4. You have to practice. If you don’t, you don’t get better.

5. You keep getting stuck—hitting barriers.

6. You have to learn when to put a new ball into the air. When you do that, you also have to learn to let go of an old ball.

7. There is a limit to how many balls you can keep in the air.

8. You keep learning new things from juggling.

I’ve slipped a little in my juggling skills—but I guess I’ve also learned that I can pick it up again any time I’m willing to practice some more.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

12. Watch for the stories

I sat on the New York subway one time in the 80’s and I watched as a Mother and her little boy of four or five got on. She sat him on one of the seats of three that are against the side of the subway, and then she sat right on one of the seats of two that are perpendicular to the seats of three.

As we rode along, she started to read a book and I watched the little boy get sleepy and his head started to nod. You know that feeling we all have had when we start to nod off to sleep and then you catch yourself and straighten your head up, and then before you know it, you nod again and your head slips to the side. His did and finally rested on the shoulder of the man sitting next to him.

It is perhaps important to note that the little boy and his mother were black and the man was white. The man smiled as the little boy leaned against him, and I saw him start to watch the Mother because he knew that sooner or later she would look up. And she did look up and when that happened he motioned quickly to her that it was o.k. and to let the little boy stay there. She smiled and the little boy slept on.

And then it was obvious to me that the man was getting ready to get off. The subway car was a little crowded now with people standing. Without saying a word, he motioned to the white man standing near him, that he could have his seat, but that letting the child continue to lean on him was part of the deal. The other man nodded and it was agreed.

Very carefully the first man placed his hand under the little boy’s head and held it carefully as he slid his body out of the seat. The other man just as carefully slipped into the vacant seat and the first man let the little boy’s head rest on the second man’s arm. The boy stirred and nestled in again. The mother watched just as I had and smiled again.

And the miracle was accomplished.

What I learned was that if I stay alert and watch for the stories around me, I can often see gentleness, this time on a New York subway.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

11. You Never Know Who’s Watching

Or who you’re influencing in some way. And sometimes you know. And sometimes you don’t. So I’ve learned to think about it.

In my writing groups one of our spontaneous writings was to make a list of ten persons who had influenced you. That wasn’t too hard. Then we would make a list of ten persons that you influenced. And that was harder. Partly because it seems like bragging and we’re taught not to brag. But partly also because you don’t always know.

I believe that I never know who is watching and when. And I also I believe that children are always watching.

I wrote a song to the tune of Fairest Lord Jesus, and the words are:

Someone Is Watching

—

Someone is watching

How I follow Jesus,

How all my actions reflect my faith.

Help me not falter;

Help me not stumble.

Let Jesus lead me every day.

—

Someone is learning

From the words I’m saying

What Jesus’ stories mean to my life.

Help me be faithful;

Help me be gentle.

Give wisdom to my heart each day.

—

Someone is knowing

How far I am going

To bring the peace Jesus said could be.

Help me be daring;

Help me be caring

So those who watch me join His way.

—

© Copyright 2010 Ann Freeman Price

Well, I do my best.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

10. You have time to come to believe

After the resurrection when Jesus appears to the disciples, according to the book of John, Thomas is not there. When the disciples tell him about it, he says he’s not going to believe until he touches the wounds with his own hands. And then Jesus comes to the room again and knows what Thomas wants and needs and Jesus tells him to go ahead. It’s wonderful to me that Jesus is open to Thomas and doesn’t admonish him for not believing outright.

I also love Jesus’ closing statement where John writes that Jesus says, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

It feels to me that Jesus is giving me time to “come to believe.” He’s giving me time to doubt, to wonder, to toss back and forth about truth or lack of. He’s letting me take moments and perhaps years to get to the belief place.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

9. Favorite hymn

For a long time my favorite hymn has been “How Firm a Foundation.”

I love it that the first verse sets up the rest of the hymn. For the first verse basically says: There’s a firm foundation, O saints, that has been laid for your faith in God’s word. And really, what more can he say than he has already said to you—each of you who has fled to Jesus for refuge.

And then the other three verses are God speaking to you. Check out the words and the promise—God saying: I will never forsake you—never!

My love of this hymn was heightened by Bishop Leontyne Kelly, preaching at the Northern New Jersey annual conference. She is short and I believe was the first African American woman bishop. She wove the hymn into her sermon which was a celebration of our connectional system. She talked about being so proud to be a United Methodist when she was in Africa, visiting in various United Methodist projects.

Then she recited this hymn and and as she said it from memory, her excitement grew. I thought that for the first time I was going to see someone levitate. I thought we were all going to see this woman leave the floor and go up in the air. And then we sang it, and I have sung it with that excitement ever since.

Many times I feel that when we are singing a hymn we rush through it and don’t truly hear the words. But when we read it—or recite it as she did, then when we sing it, we truly get it. So before the music—first read the words.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!

What more can he say than to you he hath said,

To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

—–

Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

—–

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

For I will be near thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

—–

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,

I will not, I will not desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!”

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

8. Language – A person with…

Harold Wilke taught me about the importance of language. I met Harold at the National Council of Churches offices at 475 Riverside Drive in New York City. I put out my hand to shake his hands and found that he had no hands and no arms.

In our subsequent conversations, in our letters, in my reading some of the things he has written, language came through as important. He is not an armless man, but a man with no arms; another person is not an Alzheimer person, but a person with Alzheimers. There is not an AIDS person, but a person with AIDS.

What we need to say is that this is a whole person with a disability.

Wilke asks, “Do you have a disability?” and if the person answers “No,” Wilke says, “Just wait.”

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

7. Respect

I believe that respect for persons is probably next to love. I think it’s important to respect adults, even those you disagree with. I think it’s also important to respect children.

And I think that this was one of the significant things that Jesus did. I think no matter how ostracized a person was, how low on the social ladder that person was, no matter how the culture classified the person, Jesus treated each of those categories of persons with respect.

Years ago I read a book by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot called “Respect.” She said that there were six windows on respect—empowerment, healing, dialogue, curiosity, self-respect, and attention.

The three parts of respect for me that I’ve learned so far are:

Take seriously.

Listen carefully.

And love.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

6. Get Hold of the Sun

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

and noticed the paint that was chipped

the sky was full of petunias

and the wind blew into the cracks

she stood alone in the kitchen

and tried to get hold of the sun

but the empty shelves whistled

and the hinge broke off

and she sat on the floor and cried

—Ann Freeman Price, 1987

I feel like this some days, even in the midst of my faith. Like I truly do want to get hold of the sun, and it eludes me. Some days I’m o.k. with that. Other days—not. And I’m learning that that’s the way it is and it’s pretty much a waste of time to sit on the floor and cry.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

5. Some People Can’t Respond

Staying in touch with my Dad was one-way most of the time. I remembered his birthday. I remembered him at Christmas. He didn’t remember me at either most years.

When I was older and went to Indianapolis, I was the one that called him. When I did, he was always glad to hear from me and we would get together, but he never did the initiating.

When I had moved to New York and was in therapy, I wrote Dad a letter and said that it needed to be two ways, or I was going to never write him or call him again.

He immediately wrote and asked me not to do that.

I sent him the four children’s birthdays, and reminded him of mine. He sent cards to Donna and David in February but by April did not remember Debra and Dara. In June he sent me a picture of himself.

My therapist (Frank West) recommended that I not follow through and cut him off completely and I continued to stay in touch.

When he died in 1979 at the age of 69, Celeste, one of his two daughters in his second marriage, had made all the arrangements. At the Portland funeral service I said to her that he never contacted me. She said, “Oh, he couldn’t do that—he never called me either—but if you called him, he was absolutely there.”

It was a lesson to me and after that I evaluated how important certain friends were to me and if they were the type that couldn’t initiate, I would continue to do the calling.

On June 19, 2012 I was 79 years old, and starting to live my 80th year. I decided to write down Things I Have Learned So Far:

4. An Abundance of Pennies

In the Bible in John 10:10, it says: I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

In 2005, the book group at Sparta Church read a book by Wayne Dyer and he wrote about his feeling when he found pennies on the road—a feeling of abundance as he picked them up.

I adopted his ritual and always pick up pennies when I find them. I cherish that feeling and it is a reminder to me that I do have so much in my life. I learned that it becomes a gratitude moment when as I bend to pick up the penny, I can say: Thank you for the abundance I have—not just housing, or clothes, or money—but a deeper richness of family and friends, love and life itself.