203. Choco and Rudy Hang Out

As I decorate for Christmas, I pack away other things to make room. And starting yesterday the process was reversed. Now one of the things that got packed away during Advent and Christmastide was Choco-Latte. He’s a stuffed elephant, a foot and a half tall, long and wide who sits on the laundry hamper in my bedroom eleven months of the year. During the holiday season Rudy (same size stuffed reindeer) comes out of the plastic box and Choco goes in.

Now this year there was some concern on the part of my 8-year-old granddaughter, who worried that Choco would be unhappy out in the storage barn, and I reassured her that he only got packed away one month, while Rudy was packed away for eleven months. Even so she was delighted today to put Rudy and Choco together on the couch while the switch takes place. Rudy played his music for all of us since he nods and sings “Jingle Bell Rock” as the lights on his head blink on and off. Choco-Latte was impressed and they are discussing Rudy’s skills even as I type.

The granddaughter and I have reached an agreement: that when we take the boxes out to the storage area we will mark the one that Rudy is in. And for the month of June, he gets to come out and hang with Choco on the couch again.

There are little pieces of Christmas that stay out in my house on purpose—to remind me of this holy season throughout the year. It is Howard Thurman who in his poem says that it is now, even as we’re packing things away, that the real work of Christmas begins.

The baby Jesus will go back in the bread box (see #170) and I’ll stumble across his little green box that says “Greatest Gift” from now until next Advent. I’ll see the Peace ornament daily and it will remind me that the baby grew to become the Prince of Peace and has expectations that I, too, will work for peace. So in a way, Christmas never gets totally packed away—pieces of it just keep getting lived.

202. The Epiphany Star

In 2004 I listened to a sermon and went home and wrote this song. I didn’t write the music out—I just wrote the words out. I took it to the Bible Study the next Wednesday and sang it to them and they all agreed that it fit the sermon. It is now nine years later and it is in the file marked “Music.” It is still not written out—perhaps this year I’ll get to it. I still remember the notes of the chorus but the notes for the verses are experiencing slippage.

It still speaks to me of today—of Epiphany—of wise ones and where I am and where I want to go.

—

Following the Star

—

Herod wanted to protect his kingdom,

Herod wanted to stay in control,

And sometimes I, oh yes, sometimes I

Can feel the Herod in me.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

I want to make the journey.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

And go home walking in God’s way.

—

All the religious didn’t want any changes,

All the religious wanted things to stay the same,

And sometimes I, oh yes, sometimes I

Can feel those religious in me.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

I want to make the journey.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

And go home walking in God’s way.

—

Wise ones followed the star,

Fell to their knees in surrender to a new King,

Wise ones offered their gifts

And this day so would I.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

I want to make the journey.

I want to follow the star, stay on the path,

And go home walking in God’s way.

—

Words and music © Copyright 2004 by Ann Freeman Price

201. Tell Your Own Story—and Stop

Sometimes I have to slow myself down in the midst of my talking and ask: Who does this story belong to?—this story I’m getting ready to tell?

When I was leading writing workshops for fifteen years there was a perfect illustration of this question. When we gathered, we would take turns reading whatever we had written for that day. And we often talked about confidentiality and making it a safe space for people to read.

The illustration is that one time a woman read about a squirrel getting into her house and the effect it had on her and her husband as they struggled to get it out again. She had written it well, it had moments of humor in it, and it was just a fun story. That was my example of a story we could repeat because of the fun of it—because it wouldn’t embarrass her—because it was a delight.

And in the same session someone else read something that was a deep sharing. It was personal, even difficult for the writer to share, and it was definitely THAT person’s story—not to be shared by any of the rest of us.

Those examples have given me the guidelines I go by but more important they help me remember to stop and think: is this my story to share or does it really belong to someone else?

200. New Light—Second by Second

Each day now is a tiny bit longer. Each day now the sunset is seconds later. The light lasts and brightens, even in the midst of winter.

—

Star Light

—

world was wracked

with war – oppression

poverty under powers

—

milling crowds

under orders to register

filled streets and

sleeping spaces

—

into that chaos

came simplicity and

upside-down theology

held in place by

a star full of light

—

centuries later

powers persist

wars wage on

chaos continues

and

the simplicity of love

still lives in the

star light

—

but now

oh yes – now

the light shines

in you

in me

in us

—

© Copyright 2012 Ann Freeman Price

199. Dark to Dawn

—

Disciples were gathered beside the lake,

And Peter said, “I’m going fishing.”

All through the night they were casting about

All through the night they were filled with their doubt,

‘Till the dawn came, ‘till the light showed the Christ.

There is joy in the morning, Joy in the dawning.

—

The sadness is stronger within the dark,

It seems like we can’t overcome it,

Slowly the grieving just pulls us apart,

Softly the grieving grabs hold of our heart,

‘Till the dawn comes, ‘till the light shows the Christ,

There is joy in the morning, Joy in the dawning,

The darkness is broken by beams of light.

—

We live through the times that are hard to bear,

And wonder if we can outlast it.

Deeper we go than we’ve gone to before,

Surer we know that the hope is in store,

When the dawn comes, when the light shows the Christ,

There is joy in the morning, Joy in the dawning,

The darkness is broken by beams of light.

There is joy in the morning, Joy in the dawning,

And a new beginning is born.

—

© Copyright 1994 Ann Freeman Price

—

This is a time when I post what I need to and this poem is it.

198. Looking Back to New Year’s Eve

On New Year’s Day I was remembering with my family the New Year’s Eve parties at the nursing home where I worked. I was a music therapist and worked with the recreation staff. On New Year’s Eve a number of us would sign up to throw a New Year’s Eve party for the Health Related Facility. Residents there were more able-bodied than in Skilled Nursing.

They had their dinner at the usual time and then we decorated and got the room ready, which included setting the clocks so that at 9pm it would look as if it were midnight.  At 7pm we started the party. The kitchen provided extra snacks. I played the piano. People came in and we gave them noisemakers and urged them to sing along.

About 8:15 we started cooking it—the music got more energetic. Nurses came in and helped people to dance. All the staff got into the swing of it all and we just about took the roof off. A little before midnight (or 9pm) we upped it another notch and finally we had the countdown—10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1—HAPPY NEW YEAR! Much blowing of horns, singing Auld Lang Syne, going from table to table and wishing everyone a good year. The excitement was palpable. Then gradually residents started to drift back to their rooms. We cleaned up.

What we discovered the next day is that some of the recreation staff left the nursing home and went on to other “real” New Years Eve parties. One staff person reported—”The party was nothing—no energy—nothing happening—people standing around discussing—and I told them: ‘You folks just missed the grooviest party in Rockland County and it was at Ramapo Manor Nursing Center.’”

Happy New Year!

197. New Year Planning and Bonus

January first. On this day I START thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t finish them until January tenth. That’s just the deal I set up for myself several years ago. And the advantages of it are that I feel I have time, time to tinker with the goals for this year (I use “goals,” not “resolutions), time to mull them over, time to figure out where I want to try to head myself in the coming 365 days.

I spend the first five or six days of January just jotting down ideas—helter skelter on a piece of paper, no 1-2-3-4 or a-b-c-d, just ideas scattered around the page, sometimes with circles around them. Then by January 7, I look at the page more seriously and try to pick out 10-12 things I really want to do in this year. Some of them are professional; some of them are personal; some of them are a little of each, but by January 8th, I have my list of goals for the year.

The last two days, January 9th and 10th, I start breaking them down into what I can get done on each goal in January (which by now has only 21 days left in it). Each month after January I look at my goals on the first of the month and write down new steps that I can take toward accomplishing my goal in that month. And through the year, they get done—one by one, step by step, goal by goal.

That’s my process and I love it.

Now here’s the bonus—a prayer for this new year:

—

God of the New Year

—

Oh God, of this new year,

guide me in its starting.

Stay with me in its middle and the year’s end.

Infuse my days and moments

with love and laughter,

with times of doing nothing

and times of doing everything.

Help me stop when I need to and just

breathe.

When I need to keep going

but really want to stop

give me the energy

to persevere in going on.

Help me be resolute

in new beginnings.

Help me keep dreaming

and fill me from head to toe

with hope.

Amen.

—

© Copyright 2012 by Ann Freeman Price

196. Back Door – Front Door

I love drama that you can act out in your own home. And here’s one to do tonight. It comes from Wales. At the stroke of midnight, imagine a gong ringing twelve times. At the first stroke of the gong open your back door and literally let out the old year. Know that you are letting out everything—goof-ups, exceptional times, mistakes, success. And then be ready when the gong strikes twelve, to open the front door. Now you let the New Year in—with all its possibilities, as many days as it holds for you, just all this wonderful space—let it in.

And celebrate the beginning of another year!

195. Two Days Left

It’s a real count down at the end of the year—three days left, two days left, one day left—and then close to midnight we do the real countdown—10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1—Happy New Year!

In a way it’s no different or little different for the countdown of each day or of a life, except that in a life you don’t know the number of days you have left. You just know your life is finite and at some point will end—or transition to something else.

So the principle is the same for me: Make each day real. Make each day authentic. Make each day count. All without making yourself crazy!

194. Summing Up the Year

Each year I try to remember to take some time in the last few days of one year and the first few days of a new year to sum up the year just gone. I write it down—because that’s what I do and because then I have it to look back at and remember that particular year of my life.

Organize it however you want to but create a list of Struggles of This Year, a list of Good Things of This Year, a list of Moments from This Year I Wouldn’t Want to Forget,  and then whatever categories you want to add (My favorite grandchild saying; my favorite book; a disappointment I had; something I am proud of; how I came out on my resolutions or goals for this year; whatever).

And then write it out. If you leave it in list form, you will forget what the items on the list meant, even though right now you don’t think you will. So write several paragraphs on the hard things of the year, another few paragraphs on the good things, and then still more on your other categories.

Chances are in the next few days you’ll come back to it with something you forgot—that’s o.k.—add to it. I often think that it helps me complete the year in some way. that it helps me go into the new year with a fresh start kind of feeling.

Look back—then get ready to look forward.