193. Giving Advice to Children

I remember being an adult daughter, and having my Mother come to visit, and giving me advice—about the children, about the house, about myself. I listened but in some ways I would not listen—because I wanted to solve things myself. Because some things I wanted to do differently than she had done and I wanted to be intentional about it.

Now I am the Mother and I have four children ranging in ages from 47 to 53. And the shoe is on the other foot. AND I see things a little more from my own Mother’s perspective than I did when I was 47.

I’ve lived 79 years and I’ve learned some things. I see it now from a perspective of “Let me save you some time. Let me give you a short-cut. Let me share my wisdom.” And I’m sure those were some of my own Mother’s thoughts too. I’m sure she thought, “I want to save you from some of the mistakes I made.”

So, now I’ve come to two conclusions. One is that Mother and I taught each other all through our lives. And we did that as we worked in our relationship to push at each other—to love each other—AND to assert our respective independence.

The other conclusion I’ve reached is that sometimes in the advice-giving, I am also subtly (or not so subtly) saying, “I’m not sure you can do this on your own—let me help.” And I definitely do not want to say that. Because each of my children is bright, and capable, and able to figure things out. They are already doing extraordinary jobs, AND they can cope with any mistakes they do make, just as I did.

The relationship I want is an authentic one, where we talk, where we discuss, where we try to see each other for who we are, and where sometimes we push at each other. The message I want them to have from me is: I love you—I always have—I always will.

192. Goethe and Gretsky

Connection? It’s a quote thing.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, an 18th century German writer, and Wayne Gretsky, the former professional ice hockey player probably don’t have all that much in common, but they each have a quote and the quotes kind of connect.

Goethe wrote “Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Wayne Gretsky said: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

So put them together and I think you get: Go for your dream—begin it now!

191. Skills You Never Knew

Remember Harold Wilke who I wrote about on June 26. I wrote then that the day I was introduced to him, I turned and automatically held out my hand to shake his and realized quickly that Harold had no arms and no hands. We greeted each other and over the years continued to stay in touch.

Then on the day before Christmas 1985, I received a card from Harold Wilke (who was born with no arms) and a mimeographed sheet that described a presentation he had made in Japan. He had asked the audience there to take off one shoe and one sock, to get out a piece of paper and a pencil, to put the pencil between their toes and to write their name on the piece of paper on the floor. Then when they had finished doing that to hand it to the person sitting next to them and see if they could read each other’s names. People had overwhelming success. Harold was excited too and said, “You see. You have so many more capabilities than you use. You can do so much more than you think you can do.”

Christmas Day that year of 1985 we had opened our gifts, and there’s that moment right after the gift opening when it seems that it all went so fast and suddenly it’s over and you don’t know what to do next. I remembered the card from Harold and I said, “Let’s all get out pieces of paper, take off our shoes (some of us already had our shoes off on this early Christmas morning) and let’s write our names.” So we as a family sat, writing our names with our toes on pieces of paper on Christmas morning. Dara even tried it with both feet to see which signature was clearer. And we learned on that Christmas day. It’s true. We have abilities we didn’t know we had.

190. Helping Jesus

Sixteen years ago my granddaughter Lissa was two. She knew well the Christmas story. I was babysitting with her and her five-year-old brother Daniel. Daniel was playing in his room.

I was reading a book. Lissa was lying on the little sofa and out of the corner of my eye I saw her intentionally fall to the floor. She cried out, “Oh—I am Jesus and I fell out of the manger.”

I continued reading my book and then, I was aware that not two feet from me sat a child on her knees, legs tucked under her, whimpering softly. And I suddenly knew that Jesus was crying. I got up and said, “I’m sorry—can I help you get back in the manger?” I helped her up on the couch and I covered her with the small blankets she had had before—first one, then a second, then a third blanket. She smiled, a beautiful smile, and said, “Thank you, Mary.”

I sat back down but I didn’t go back to my book because there for a few minutes, I was Mary. It was a moment and for that moment God was mysteriously present.

189. The Christmas Card Wonder

They still come rolling in to my mailbox (a few electronically) but most by the U.S. Post Office. And I love it. They come in colorful cards, or cards with pictures, and they come with letters detailing what happened in their lives in the last year.

I fix a cup of tea, sit back to read, and just revel in memories and the excitement of knowing what they’re doing now and what their lives are like. Yesterday, I came to one card and sat with it for awhile trying to remember where I lived when this person and I knew each other—because she moved before I did, so we haven’t seen each other probably for 45 years. I still relish her presence in my life via a Forever Stamp.

I do the same thing—usually write a poem and then write what happened the past year, plus my favorite books read and recipes tried in the past twelve months. Hope others enjoy that too.

The only down part for me of Christmas cards sending them or receiving them is that occasionally they bring news that someone has died. Once I sent the card and weeks later received a note from her husband (who I didn’t know) that she had died.

They are a wonder for me—of people present in my life in this location; and of people still present in my life who once lived closer. And it is Christmas and this tradition that continues to connect us.

188. Just Do It Over and Over

I now get it. I now have figured it out. I now have it down.

You just lose the same pounds over and over and over again. And it’s all right, as long as you don’t go to any extremes. Two weeks ago I hit what I felt was a high, got out the old Weight Watcher point books and decided I would start yet again and I did. And day by day I went back down, not all the way mind you, but a six or seven pound amount.

And then I had a party (a wise woman party no less) and ignored the points, enjoyed the party, had leftovers so took another day or two of laxness, and weighed. Ooops—three of the six or seven pounds are back and I need to lose them again.

Remember Erma Bombeck who once said something like—I have lost so many pounds over years and years of dieting that by all accounts I should be hanging from someone’s charm bracelet. I know what she means.

But this time it’s o.k. The deal is that I’m still within seven pounds of where I think it’s healthiest for me to be. AND I know I can lose it AGAIN. So I’ll combine a bit of balance, the fun of eating in the holidays, and the willingness to lose it over and over.

187. Jin Shin Jyutsu

Six or seven months ago I was introduced to Jin Shin Jyutsu. This is an ancient art which existed before the birth of Buddha or Moses. It was rediscovered in Japan in the 20th century by Master Jiro Shin Jyutsu and in the 1950’s his student, Mary Burmeister brought it to the United States. For more information you can go to the website: www.jsjinc.net

I learned about it from my Egoscue trainer and first used it to successfully interrupt gastro attacks. I ordered the book, The Touch of Healing—Energizing Body, Mind, and Spirit with the Art of Jin Shin Jyutsu by Mary Burmeister. And most helpful to me have been the Self-Help pages from the website.

I do two things daily. I do finger holds—holding one finger of one hand with the other hand until I feel a pulse and then moving to the next finger—same thing. I do one hand, then the other hand. When I go to bed at night I often do these fingers holds and if I wake up at night, I do them again to quickly get back to sleep. The second thing is that I breathe 36 breaths (deep breaths from the diaphragm) and I usually do 12 at a time—often when I’m driving.

The whole philosophy is the energy flows we each have within our body, and if those flows become blocked, then there is a problem. Feeling the pulse in each finger or as directed in the book or the website, helps clear the blocks. I can’t explain it better than that but I can testify that for me it has worked. AND it is about as non-invasive as you can get.

Check it out.

186. Longest Night of All the Year

It is the Winter Solstice and this is the day for the hymn that ends with light. This can be sung to the tune of “Jesus, Lover of My Soul.”

—

Longest Night of All the Year

—

Longest night of all the year,

Heaviness spreads out its fear,

Darkness drifts into each space

Waiting for some sign of grace.

Light leaks through the curtain of night,

Giving promises of sight.

Where is hope? Where does hope live?

Where is the peace hope has to give?

—

Now the turning will begin,

Days grow longer—light will win,

Deep despair within the heart

Finds that release begins to start.

Darkest night melts into dawn

Granting strength to travel on.

God who holds each one so near,

Whispers clearly, “Do not fear.”

—

See the candle flames burn long,

Hear the promise; sing the song.

Love is all around—hold on

To the faith that makes one strong.

Sense within each day mystery,

What is past and what is to be.

Reach for love—God’s gift to you—

Bathed in the light that’s breaking through.

—

© Copyright 2011 Ann Freeman Price

185. The Longest Night—Almost

We are on the very brink of the Winter Solstice, and I have a hymn and a poem. These are the dark times, the long nights, and in the very midst of the holiday season people who are dealing with loss are often having a hard time. This is the poem.

—

It is the longest night—the darkest night,

And I am weary and cold,

I want to see a light—a gentle light,

I want to hear a story told.

Oh manger child so meek and mild,

Did you come here for me?

Oh manger child, your tale’s so wild,

Could it be you came for me?

—

I’m filled with brimming tears—and fragile fears,

I’m feeling lost as can be,

I want to search my way—through shades of gray,

I need to find new ways to see.

Oh little one—’till night is done

Could you stay for a while?

Oh little one—’till night is done

Could you stay a while with me?

—

Now even as I quake—the darkness breaks,

A beam of light comes my way,

And night becomes less strong—I hear a song

That says the warmth is here to stay.

Oh Bethl’em babe—the love you gave

Can be mine through all time.

Oh Bethl’em babe—the love you gave

Can stay with me through all time.

—

© Copyright 2008 by Ann Freeman Price

184. Be Strong!

In these days of long nights and short days, of tragedy alive, and controversy raging—I find myself thinking of this old hymn entitled “Be Strong!” It was in the 1905 Methodist Hymnal. It was written by Maltbie Davenport Babcock, born in 1858 who became a Presbyterian minister, was a preacher of some note, and died when he was 42. Read it over. It speaks to me.

—

Be strong!

We are not here to play, to dream, to drift,

We have hard work to do, and loads to lift,

Shun not the struggle, face it, ‘tis God’s gift.

Be strong, be strong!

—

Be strong!

Say not the days are evil—who’s to blame?

And hold the hands and acquiesce—O shame!

Stand up, speak out, and bravely, in God’s name.

Be strong, be strong!

—

Be strong!

It matters not how deep intrenched the wrong,

How hard the battle goes, the day, how long;

Faint not, fight on! Tomorrow comes the song.

Be strong, be strong!