Step Close…..But

253. Step Close…..But

This song that I wrote is true of me. I’m sure it’s true of others too. Sometimes I call it the step close syndrome. I want closeness—oops I don’t want it—but yes, I do—but actually no. Here’s the song:

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Step close, I want you,

Step close, I want you near,

Step close, I want you,

I want you here.

—

Oh no, I’m feeling surrounded,

Step back, I can’t breathe,

Step back, I made a mistake

And I want you to leave.

—

Hold me–I need you,

Hold me in your arms so tight,

Hold me–I need you,

And it feels so right.

—

Let go, I’m going to be smothered,

Let go, I’ve got to be free,

Let go, I’m being absorbed

And I cannot be me.

—

Just when I think I know what I’m wanting,

Just when I think I’m starting to care,

Just when I think I’ve finally found

A person with whom I can share—

—

Then it starts—I split down the middle,

Then it starts—I push you away,

Then my being starts acting double,

Come here. No, don’t stay.

—

Yes, No. I can’t believe myself and what I say,

Yes, No, Yes, No—Be here, go away.

—

Don’t touch, I have to have space but

Do touch, I want you so.

It doesn’t make any sense,

Yes, No, Come, Go, Yes. No.

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© Copyright 1983 by Ann Freeman Price